Negative Nelly

This is me at 37 weeks. This was 37 weeks last time/year. At my doctor appointment today, there was no progress from last week, so I'm still 1cm and 70% effaced, she did "rough me up" a bit to hopefully speed things up a bit. (nothing has come of it yet)

The past couple of days I have been feeling nauseous, almost more than the beginning, there's lots of pinching and pains in my stomach, braxton hicks are becoming more frequent and stronger. All of these things should mean that the end is near. I have been through this whole pregnant thing before and recently, but I still find myself pretty sure that it will in fact, never end. That I will be uncomfortable and large forever.

I am finding that this last month or so of being pregnant I am becoming quite the negative nelly. But really, can you blame me? in 24 months I will have been pregnant for all but 6 months. SIX. SIX.
Other than my year and a half of being pregnant, I really shouldn't complain. I still have it pretty dang easy compared to some of you ladies.

This time around I am more uncomfortable. My back hurts 98% of the time. He feels SO low, my stomach and insides are super pinchy, and my underbelly (yes, underbelly :}) burns if I stand/walk/do anything for too long. when I attempt to roll over in bed I swear I can feel his head rub across my back bones. the doc said he still has room to drop more. awesome right? Heartburn and I have a nightly date, haven't missed a single day in quite a while. My emotions are in full swing. Poor Adam. Poor my mom. Poor anyone who spends time with me. I'm afraid I'm not very nice. People say other wise, but I don't feel like I'm being super nice. at all.

When I get emotional, I LOVE to drown my sorrows/emotions in lots and lots of sugar and junk. pepsi, popcicles, ice cream, brownies, pepsi, cupcakes, chocolate milk, milk and cookies, pepsi, milk shakes, french fries, chips, chips and dip, more pepsi, etc. unfortunately for me, diabetics aren't really allowed to eat that kind of stuff, like, at all. that's right, they're pretty sure I was stricken with the gestational diabetes.  my glucose numbers were elevated higher than they like to see, so I get to cut back (pretty drastically for me) on the junk food and prick my finger 4 times a day. gestational diabetes means that my body still produces enough insulin, but my pregnant hormones don't let my body use any of it. If I don't keep my sugar levels under control, it increases my chances of getting type 2 diabetes (in the next 2 years), and for my baby to be large at birth, increases his chances to have childhood obesity and diabetes himself. I can already tell you I love this little baby SO much, just by what I don't put in my mouth and the smaller portions I take for myself. You can bet your bottom dollar though, that as soon as the dumb hormone producing, insulin blocking placenta is out of my body, I will drink a pepsi, eat a large fry from taco amigo and eat anything else loaded with sugar and packed with carbs. BUT, hopefully, I will have learned a little bit and will have absorbed enough knowledge of how to eat healthier so that I can get back to (below) my pre pregnancy weight and stay healthier. Just by being on this new diet, I have lost 2 pounds. Baby is still packing on the pounds, so it's all coming off me, hooray!!

Adam is really good to me though, especially as I get more uncomfortable. He puts milo to bed, takes me out to eat more often than we should. the other night we were eating cookies and milk. I took 4 cookies and told him to hide the rest from me, especially since I should only eat 3. when I "wasn't looking" he tossed one more in my lap and "made me" eat it. or the other day I was feeling particularly blue, and just wanted 10 otter pops, and would even settle for taco amigo/sonic ice, but couldn't have one and didn't have the other. So he went and put some ice in the blender and put water and mio in it to make the next best thing to crushed ice and/or popcicles. He's such a wonderful man and I'm lucky to have him, sorry I don't show it enough honey!

See? I told you these last few weeks/days I've become quite the negative person. but don't let that fool you, I don't feel like I'm depressed, or that I'll never do this again. I know this will end and pregnant tired will go away and be replaced with (much better) new mom tired. I love being pregnant and I love bringing sweet little babies to this world for me to kiss and cuddle.

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and that ^ is Milo telling me it's his turn to play.